• Nicka

Not So Social (Media)

Updated: Oct 31, 2020

So I've just started this site and I'm telling you to come off of it, lol! But bare with me, I was asked a few weeks ago, how I go about my social media detox's. I personally find Social Media overwhelming at times and I feel like I have attacks, everything pisses me off, I'm annoyed that I have to scroll, Why is this person going there, Why are they doing that? NICKA it's not them it's a whole you! That is my signal that it is time for me to come off for a while, another signifier is not feeling adequate, unworthy and that I am not deserving, this is a major sign that I need to remove myself from social media and come live in the present, in real life and enjoy life for what it is.

My coping strategies are as follows:

  • Regardless if I'm on the app or not I don't receive push notifications and sometimes I turn off the badge which shows me that I have a message.

  • I don't delete the app but if you so choose to, then please do. The reason that I don't delete it is because it messes up my home display and that irritates me more than anything

  • I start to have a daily routine, specifically in the morning, I still do check my phone (Texts, Whatsapp messages and phone calls), just in case there is something that requires urgent attention, but then I get up and make myself some tea, I drink both water and tea at this time and then I go and have a shower, whilst I am getting dressed I listen to music, my mood depends on the genre. I then read a book or article, write or work on something creative and then figure out what I'm going to do for the day, if I have nothing planned.

  • When I am out or at home itching to go on social media I distract myself, so this is where I go onto youtube or play a game. Candy Crush Soda frustrates the hell out of me (I'm still playing it to this day FYI) so I play games from Microsoft- Spider Solitare, Tripeaks etc. On youtube I watch videos that help me understand my mental illness, so I watch Dr Tracey Marks' channel and also Psych2go which are my personal favourites.

  • I also fill in the gaps to my days so that I don't have time to be on social media, doing boring things like laundry, washing the dishes, cleaning my forever untidy room, going for a walk, going to the library, food shopping etc

  • When I am watching tv shows, movies etc I put my phone on silent and I don't pay attention to messages until it's finished. I stop myself from being distracted by the outside world

Social media has become an addiction, it's so interweaved with our lives to the point that people fear being away from it. If I don't let the world know what I'm doing, it didn't happen! It also impacts creatives in a massive way, creatives have this invisible pressure to constantly be producing content and it is harmful. I have acquired these strategies to prepare me for the times that I have that invisible pressure to be constantly churning out work. It doesn't mean that I am not addicted or have cycles of addiction I just have to recognise the unhealthy behaviours and do better. Social media isn't going anywhere, which is something we should all find comfort in and take time for us to enjoy the moment. There is nothing wrong with posting content that is “outdated” (outdated according to who though?), is it healthy that people know your every move? Do you ask yourself why you feel the need to post so much of your personal life? Are you posting these things to get validation from strangers who (scarily) secretly envy you and don't even like you. People follow people on social media sometimes just to watch them struggle, they see greatness in you and just want you to fail, consistently, because they have totally nothing else better to do or going on in their lives. People are every insecure, ungrateful and sad and it shows on their online personas and will be the first to shout: “ you don't know me” Babes I can feel that awful energy from here, I don't want to know you!

It is also important to point out trolls and keyboard warriors, some of them I believe have a lack of control over their own lives, whether that be at work, in a relationship, past traumas not being identified and healed from, so they are easily triggered, reading comprehension gets lost and they project all their frustrations out onto you. You become an online version of an emotional punching bag, you are just minding your business speaking about your own experiences and people will come to you with something you weren't even talking about. This requires another post to be spoken about but if you are like me and you don't take no shit, then my advice will be to just block them, friend, family or foe. It's up to you if you want to unblock them and have a conversation about it after (if you know them) but people are committed to not comprehending you because it doesn't fit their agenda and also because they refuse to admit that they are wrong. People are going through internal battles and the best thing to remember is that it isn't personal (I would like you to know that whilst I am giving you all this advice, that I am also talking to myself) people do not know how to manage their emotions, and aren't even trying. Do you really want to give your time and energy to someone who is committed to being the worst versions of themselves? Do you want to be seen as equally a fool? Because sometimes that's all outsiders see. Or is it that you want to “win” to be dominant? The battle you need to win is the one within yourself, trying to make others see your point of view sometimes is fruitless (Trust me... I KNOW!). Remind yourself that you know what you are talking about, that your perspective is valid, that people that refuse to comprehend you are sad little beings that will always be that way...imagine being like that!

Detox's are healthy in so many ways, you get to gather your thoughts, you are better prepared for when you go back, you may have new experiences to share, you can also share more healthily, social media will look and become fun again! Give it a go and let me know how you done!

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